Thursday, September 4, 2008

Palin Rant

I know this is an Armenian issues blog, but after watching tonight's RNC I can't help but rant. I consider myself an independent but found myself utterly sick from Giuliani's and especially Palin's speeches.

I don't know what's worse- might as well start with the country blathering coming out of someone on stage named "Cowboy Troy"- ever since circa 2001 to be Republican means to be a cowboy rockin' out to country music. Anyway here are the main four things which have been festering in my brain since seeing this spewing of filth otherwise known as these convention speeches:
1. What else? The speeches- I didn't even watch the earlier ones, but I did hear Mike Huckabee's utterly vapid story involving some kind of absurd vignette involving musical chairs and soldiers. It illustrated how easy it is to make a crowd of people cheer, it doesn't have to make sense, just mention terrorism, troops, fight, freedom, and end it with a U-S-A chant and watch as people go nuts. I'm not even kidding, I defy anyone to contend Huckabee's story made actual sense and wasn't just an exercise in proving that dropping keywords can set any group on fire. Giuliani was just screaming something incomprehensible about Obama loving Islamofascist terrorists and how he's allegedly afraid to call them Islamofascist terrorists but good old Rudy calls 'em as he sees 'em and believe it or not they really are Islamofascist terrorists! Horray for Rudy!
As for Palin, sure she did a good job in getting the crowd riled up, but she said absolutely NOTHING of substance what-so-ever. This is the candidate with zero experience at anything or has ever done a single intellectual pursuit (ala president of the Harvard Law Review, say what you will about Obama's 'executive' experience but he certainly isn't short on intellectual accomplishments). If anything Palin should be proving to us why she is capable of being VP and possibly president, but no. Instead this was 40 minutes of trashing the other party with LOUD empty rhetoric and showing how tough she can be despite being a woman as a way of forgetting we ever doubted her. Great job showing you're tough, now how about showing you're... anything?

2. Virulent attacks- look, I know part of politics are the attacks, but between Rudy's and Palin's the hits didn't stop!! I'm sure the democratic convention had attacks in speeches too but I can't really remember anything all that huge. Those two speeches were just sickly low, most of them were of absolute no substance and were just attacks for attacking's sake. I can't even provide examples because I don't know where to begin, wait for the transcripts. As a random aside, I got to hang out with Giuliani in '06 when he was making the rounds campaigning for others in order to lay the groundwork for his own '08 presidential run. I was on "security detail" in a room with about 20 VIPs he was meeting with and he was so busy that night doing anything and everything possible essentially running for president that he shook my hand three times within 15 minutes without even realizing it.

3. Palin- not only is she totally unqualified and probably the worst VP pick in decades, having clearly passed over NUMEROUS more qualified candidates not to mention quite a few women, but after her speech the commentators seemed to LOVE it, WHAT?! It was masterfully crafted to give Palin a much needed boost by making her appear... competent? What better way to make someone look like they know what they're doing and get loved by the audience better than having them sound strong saying a bunch of empty virulent things that'll whip up the base in attendance and throw in a few big words like "Caucasus" to give the appearance she knows... anything... about a little thing called foreign affairs. It wouldn't be politics if they didn't jab at each other, but there was nothing to this speech EXCEPT jabs. Oh and some Palin fawning over McCain and how he saved the world a thousand times or something. But mostly totally empty attacks like that Obama is a "community leader" instead of a governor and we don't need a community leader or something... (actual quote: "i guess being a mayor is kinda sorta like being a community organizer except that i actually had responsibility")... and of course how he's a member of that "do-nothing Senate" (unlike McCain, who clearly belongs to some other Senate...). Those weren't even the tip of the iceberg, I was too busy being disgusted by attack after attack to keep track.'

4. AND THE MOST DISTURBING OF ALL (and least noticed?)- alright so we all know about the Trig-is-actually-the-daughter's-baby-gate, which was promptly dispelled by the brilliant Shyamalan twist of "that baby can't be her out of wedlock at 17 years old lovechild because SHE'S PREGNANT WITH THIS OUT OF WEDLOCK AT 17 YEARS OLD LOVECHILD! GOTCHA SUCKERS!" Anyway as we know in the week since Palin became VP her recently-old-enough-to-drive daughter is suddenly totally in love with the baby's father and they're getting married. Awww, isn't that sweet? According to one 24-year old convention official, as heard on NPR today, this makes it "all good". Nothing forced at all about that solution, right? Well to PROVE that there's nothing forced check this out- go to about 1:10 into this video, the part where McCain totally feels up the young man who also happens to be the VP's future teenage son-in-law: (which I got from Wonkette). Now just after the marriage announcement it was said he was joining his future family at the convention. Hmm I wonder why? Notice how in the video, completely unprompted, the boyfriend/fiancee/whatever is holding hands with with Palin's ultra-fertile daughter for the ENTIRE time. They aren't trying to prove anything to their mother's conservative masses, right? Well tonight on stage after the Palin speech I couldn't help noticing the two were at it again, holding hands the ENTIRE TIME they were on stage. Seriously, at one point their hands separated briefly until they realized it and grabbed back at each other again, as if they forgot the rule to 'never let go Jack' or else the country won't think they aren't truly in love and are actually some of those sinful out of wedlock teenage parents! Heaven forbid!
Someone should be eviscerated for manipulating these children like that. And does this reaction from the crowd and tv people mean it's ok to like Palin now? You mean she's NOT going to be withdrawn in shame? Disappointment of the week, there were 5 to 1 odds on it this morning! OK you might have won this battle McCainiacs but just wait 'til you win in November and something happens to him and we have a hockey mom fresh off the PTA leading our nation. Then the joke will be on not just you, but on all of us, ALL OF US.


Julie said...

you forgot to rant about how annoying her voice is.

Ani said...

I was going to watch, really I was. I turned on the TV and I saw Rudy (who I really don't recall "saving" me from 9/11 in his above-ground "bunker" right next to the World Trade Center so he could have his trysts conveniently located to City Hall), and I saw "Drill Here! Drill Now!" and "Energy Independence" signs, and--well I just couldn't watch...

As for the kids, I think the term "shotgun wedding" is oddly appropriate here. Fox is probably salivating at the opportunity for a new reality series "The Palins of Washington, D.C.".

milowent said...

great rant, sir.

mccain has sold his soul completely now.

Ani said...

Sarah Palin's qualifications for vice president:
And they liked the conservative commentator at the end, who said she was glad Ms. Palin balanced power and femininity.

“That’s an Alaska woman for you,” said Ms. Morgan. “She can pee in the woods, then put on lipstick and go out to dinner.”